Posts tagged trans*
The child I babysit sometimes is 5 years old. Last time I went to take care of him I noticed he has this awesome painting of the moon in his bedroom. He told me his mothers friend painted it. After he told me the artists name he then explained to me “She used to be a boy but she didn’t feel good so now she just takes medicine and it helps her to be a girl. She feels better”
It’s literally that easy to explain it to kids.
such a beautiful story. as a queer person, waiting is filled with anxiety about what to say, how much of myself and my life would i be able to reveal? the fear of rejection is so huge, but i also desperately want my family to know me, my life, my trials, my triumphs.
i just want to look into someone’s eyes and see myself, feel like i look like someone, like i can see where i came from. i want to know if i am an oppa or hyung.
i want to know if i had a name.
i have heard all the stories, all the possibilities from bad to good that can happen when you find your birth family. but this…this is the best. the absolute best.
“Mother,” I slowly repeated in Korean. “I am not a boy. I am a girl. I am transgender.” My face reddened, and tears blurred my vision. I braced myself for her rejection and the end to a relationship that had only begun.
Silence again filled the room. I searched my mother’s eyes for any signs of shock, disgust or sadness. But a serene expression lined her face as she sat with ease on the couch. I started to worry that my words had been lost in translation. Then my mother began to speak.
“Mommy knew,” she said calmly through my friend, who looked just as dumbfounded as I was by her response. “I was waiting for you to tell me.”
“Birth dream,” my mother replied. In Korea some pregnant women still believe that dreams offer a hint about the gender of their unborn child. “I had dreams for each of your siblings, but I had no dream for you. Your gender was always a mystery to me.”
I wanted to reply but didn’t know where to begin. My mother instead continued to speak for both of us. “Hyun-gi,” she said, stroking my head. “You are beautiful and precious. I thought I gave birth to a son, but it is OK. I have a daughter instead.”
“Try to avoid drinking lots of water before leaving the house” (re: trying to go without using gendered bathrooms for a month)
CLEARLY YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SPIRONOLACTONE.
Really though the fact that one of the most common antiandrogens is adiureticis extremely significant to what trans people have to deal with wrt bathrooms.
It’s not “You can’t use most public bathrooms”, it’s “You can’t use most public bathrooms and you have to pee every ten minutes.”
WHOA. WAIT. SPIRO MAKES YOU HAVE TO PEE ALL THE TIME?
THIS SOLVES A LOT. holy shit. i pee all the time and i’m only on 25mg.
Yeah pretty much.
For comparison, I’m on 300mg.
The ten minutes thing isn’t an exaggeration (although as I said elsewhere, there periods where its every ten minutes but also periods where I go longer, it’s not every ten minutes 24/7)
Important Story for UK Trans People (and LGB allies)
Some people who keep up with current trans issues may know that an unknown trans man from the UK recently gave birth to a child biologically. It was reported in the Sunday Times newspaper after a journalist got hold of some information from the Beaumont Society.
If the man in question hasn’t stepped forward by now, then he probably doesn’t even want to be identified or talked to about this issue. However, this hasn’t stopped the press, and this anonymous man is now currently being subjected to a horrific, privacy-invading witch hunt by the UK tabloids.
The tabloids have reportedly been hounding trans organizations and high-profile trans people for information on the man’s identity and whereabouts.
The press claim that it is “in the public interest” that this man be identified to the wider public. However, it stands to reason that all they are probably looking for is a sensational story. This is evident by the fact that they obviously have no regard at all for this man’s right to privacy and anonymity.
The interim editor of the tabloid newspaper the Sun has also made some utterly deplorable comments, implying that the trans man should be exposed to the public because of “issues” with NHS funding of our treatment, the “welfare” of the child, and the fact that he could “turn out to be a serial killer”. No, REALLY. That’s the excuse they’re using for trying to force out a vulnerable person into the public eye and potentially putting them at serious risk of discrimination and violence.
What it amounts to is blatant prejudice, and the view that trans people are public property that have no right to their own privacy.
The Sun is acting disgustingly and hypocritically. Just last week, Helen Belcher of Trans Media Watch was invited to speak at the Leveson Inquiry into Press Standards, about the appalling way the press have treated transgender people. The Sun’s Managing Director spoke out in defense of the press, saying that they would endeavour to “mend their ways” when it comes to media coverage of transgender affairs. However, this seems now to be empty words and that the Sun has no intention of treating us any better than they did before.
Offering a cash reward to the public for the outing of a trans person is absolutely revolting, inexcusable and unacceptable.
If anyone living in the UK knows this man and is approached by a member of the media, or really ANYONE inquiring about the story (seeing as the tabloid media are known for using underhand tactics like hacking, stalking and undercover investigation) I urge you: TELL THEM NOTHING. Don’t say a word. You will be protecting a vulnerable person from potentially serious harm.
If you want more information, please read this article, from Pink News, as it has exclusive comments from the Sun editor and information about the ongoing Leveson Inquiry into Press Standards. If you are from the UK, I also please urge you to contact the Leveson Inquiry and also the Press Complaints Commission about this. Their contact information can be found on both websites.
Thanks for reading and spread the word. This horrible violation of privacy must not stand.
Legit - the press will do fucking anything for a story.
I was involved in a little, er, something a couple years back, and the press was going after the fucking 8-year-old sister of a dear friend of the other party involved. It was despicable then and it is despicable now.
A list of evidence of @BuckAngel putting down trans*/queer folks [TW: Racism, sexism, cissexist, threats, etc.]
- Here he put someone down for being poor and insinuated it was some form of punishment since the OP doesn’t like that Buck is transmisogynistic or classist.
- Here he posted a video of queer people of color as a token of his anti-racism?
- [TW: CISSEXISM AND BODY SHAMING] Here is a screencap of a tweet he posted in response to someone who pointed out that his using someone’s personal post-op photos as a reason that he didn’t want to get surgery was hurtful. On his blog, Buck lies to his readers and says he was only talking about his own body when that’s obviously not that case when he says “it is not ok to want that :)” [TW: Hardcore cissexism and bottom shaming]
- Here he tells Village Voice and by virtue all trans* people, that fundraising for surgery is not what real men do. “You wanna be a man? Act like a man.” Tell me, Buck, what if I don’t “want to be a man”? Or you know how about the notion that I already am one since I identify as such?
- Here’s a quote of Buck Angel defending Dan Savage’s blatant cissexism. Here’s evidence of Savage’s cissexism.
- Here’s Buck insinuating a threat to a queer person of color for calling him out on racism and classism. Tell us, Buck, get you into trouble how?
- Here’s Buck telling me to grow up after he said I should do more for the trans* community.
I was going to isolate it to bottom surgery result insults, but it’s important to me that folks who look up to him know this. Because I looked up to him, because it’s easy to look up to someone who is trans*, jerk or not, simply because there are virtually no trans* people in the limelight. Not because it’s the worst thing in the world to make mistakes. A lot of us accidentally perpetuate oppression. It doesn’t make it okay at all, but we learn and grow while accepting the fact that we are indeed capable of doing such things. This list serves as an example of the fact that Buck doesn’t care so long as Buck is right. This would be a completely different post if Buck didn’t incessantly derail folks when they call him out.
Please be aware that Buck has in the past linked to people’s blogs on his Twitter alongside language that portrays anyone who calls him out as taking part in harassment so as to incite hate mail. I want to also be clear that some of the messages I received in response to this endeavor were cis folks cissplaining me by telling me to fight bigger demons. The bigger demon being cissplaining? Okay then! I say this as a warning to those who are triggered by these things.
If you have anything to add, please reblog and add links (if you’d like). Be sure to add trigger warnings. This post was a little rushed, since he seems to think that I have all of the time in the world for such things.
As a community, I think it’s really important that we start speaking back against people in the communities who have largely made themselves the self proclaimed “leaders” of the trans and LGBT movements. Buck Angel does not speak for the majority of the trans community and consistently says things which hurt and shame those less privileged than him. He is not a trans leader because trans people have elected him and supported him to become one, he is a self proclaimed trans activist because he has shit tons of privilege which have given him to opportunity to get a ton of cis people and privileged trans folks to like him. I don’t like to criticize activists just for having privilege, just because someone is more privileged doesn’t mean they can’t help others, but they need to recognize their position and learn how their privilege is fucking over other people in the trans community.
People who claim they are our allies but act otherwise are sometimes the most dangerous enemies of all. Buck Angel, along with other “activists” like Dan Savage, rationalize the oppression of marginalized trans people and use their own privileged experiences to fuck the rest of us over. They’re not really interested in helping the majority of the trans community, they are out there to make money and a name for themselves in their careers. They spectacularize their own identities while at the same time do things which hurt those in less privileged positions.
It would be one thing if these people who put themselves on pedestals for the queer and trans communities accepted that they are not always right and will apologize when their politics are fucked up. That’s what real activists should do because they realize that their politics are about helping others and the community, not about ALWAYS BEING RIGHT. If Buck Angel and Dan Savage were less worried about their careers, their mainstream cis audience ratings, and their MTV shows, then maybe they would find some fucking humbleness if their actions instead of tearing down everyone who disagrees with them (it looks like Dan Savage is still pissed off about being called out on his transphobic/cissexist remarks and even seems to think it’s not that big of a deal when other cis people say it either). They will never learn and as a community we need to stop supporting them.
They may point out some enemy they call more sinister, like anti-gay republican candidates, and I agree that they are horrible people and should not be in elected positions, but hey at least they’re honest about being my enemies. Buck Angel and Dan Savage claim to be our allies but in the end they will throw us under the bus to to further his own careers and no one will even fucking notice because they believe “trans activists” could do no wrong to the trans community. This happens to trans people all the fucking time in queer activists communities, and when we complain, we are either ignored, discounted as “crazy” or “insane”, or told that we are “dividing the community”.
No, so fuck you Buck Angel, we are not dividing the community, you are! When your politics don’t include people of color, don’t include poor trans folks, don’t include non-binary folks, don’t include trans women, don’t include a multitude of identities and positions that you will never experience, you justify our oppression and marginalization and you won’t even fucking take up the responsibility for it.
Buck Angel is an empty figurehead for the trans community that is really there because he’s been able to make a career with a cis audience. The trans community should just drop his ass, stop supporting him, and move on to find the real leaders of our movement who are humble enough to admit when they’re wrong and continually work to have better and more inclusive politics.
I’m not gonna be surprised if this post shows up on one of Buck Angel’s and Dan Savages blogs, along with some adjectives describing me as crazy or a moron, so that they can stick their followers on me and the people they pay to improve their media relations. But wait, I thought Dan Savage was against cyber-bullying, or is he only against it when it makes him money? Otherwise, it would appear it’s free game for these bullies to say whatever they want and defend it as free speech and being against censorship.
This is an incredibly important topic, something that we should bring to our communities both on and offline. Just to be transparent, I am not part of the trans community and know very little about Buck Angel, but I am able to resonate with this analysis on its core elements of representation, power, privilege, and feminist pedagogy/ethics.
I highlighted transcreature’s pieces that struck me because they not only deconstruct the ways in which power is operating for these self-proclaimed leaders of the trans/queer community(s), but they also highlight ethical questions for all of us as organizers and activists. Firstly, what does it mean that Buck Angel and Dan Savage are SO DEFENSIVE about their political stances and actions, especially in the realm of the cybersphere? For me—and this is purely speculative—it signals a ridiculous sense of entitlement to represent a voice of some sort of supposed homogeneous “community” (LGBTQQIA alphabet soup bullshit), and/or a self-proclaimed entitlement to an omnipotence that justifies their positions of power/privilege. That’s some scary napoleon-complex shit right there, but it’s symptomatic of some sort of fucked up ideology. It’s hard to pin-point the ideology exactly, but my gut feeling is that it is a result of neoliberalism and the commodification of social justice work (non-profit industrial complex, ethical consumerism, the “green revolution”, etc.) which we all have been subjected to. To put it quite bluntly—which transcreature has done incredibly well—when activism is profitable and trendy, you create hierarchies of power/privilege that (re)produce oppression in both subtle and harsh ways. When your livelihood (aka, your job) relies so heavily on you being correct, proper, and a good representative / figurehead, you have every reason to use your own power and resources to crush those who say otherwise, even if they’re right. This isn’t to justify their actions, but to maybe give some insight in to how violent neoliberalism/capitalism/Napoleon-complexes is, and how much work it takes to undo and unlearn these violent frameworks of thinking.
The effect of this neoliberal(ist) narcissism (and I think it’s safe to label this as such) is that people with lower amounts of privilege get thrown under the bus. This logic is important, because it can extend to ourselves and our own work. Our own egos create hierarchies which can be oppressive to folks in multiple ways: Dan Savage and Buck Angel are spectacularized versions of what all of us do all of the time. I think it’s important to remember this when we see things that we can very clearly call out as fucked up or wrong, Dan Savage and Buck Angel should remind us how being narcissistic, privileged, and self-righteous can silence the disenfranchised voice(s), destroy moments of education and coalition building, and ultimately reproduce hierarchies of oppression and power in our own spaces and communities.