Or how a riot started by queers, drag queens, transgender people and sex workers became ruthlessly hijacked and monopolized by normatively attractive, affluent, masculine gay men who value assimilation and heteronormativity over universal healthcare - and who viciously spurn those magnificent queens who came before them - and gave it a universally accepted brand name (the GAY rights movement) that highlights its own exclusionary nature.
Queer rights and riots!!!
This is a sadly accurate description.
Cis-feminists are quick to accuse trans people of supporting the binary, but they never question their own gender as supporting binary ideals. That’s because to them, their gender is something that is innate. It’s a fact of their being.
But for some reason, being trans means that your gender somehow isn’t innate. It’s up for question because you haven’t been the way you are for your entire life.
I think we can all see the problem here— it’s the same kind of stringent standards that the patriarchy places upon women being “real” women. You are only a woman if you do this. If you wear this. If you have certain biology. And so on.
Why not add to that, “you are only a woman if you’ve been a woman the entire span of your life?” It’s not that big of a stretch. It’s probably already implied in binary gender narratives.
But if your gender isn’t a problem, then why is mine? What makes yours so special?
Trans people can be whatever they want to be. Gender is no one’s business but that person’s.
(or: why does sw have to nitpick every damn thing?)
there’s this video making the rounds on facebook of a guy raised by two women in iowa — he’s speaking in court about how being raised by a same-gender couple had no effect on the content of his character. he scored extremely well on the ACT, he’s an eagle scout, he’s well-adjusted, he’s happy, he runs a small business, he’s white, male, articulate, dressed in a suit, and pretty much all the things that would make a middle-class white couple proud.
people are passing around this video describing it as “beautiful” and “inspiring” and as proof that queer parents can raise children. in this video, this young man goes on and on about how normal his family is; how there is nothing that really distinguishes it from a straight two-parent household. it’s that fluffy, clean-cut, domesticated feelgood stuff that white liberal “no on prop 8” ads are made of. so it’s not really a surprise to me that people are all over it..
what i want to know, though, is why self-identified radical and progressive people of color, queers and straights alike, suddenly forget every damn thing they’ve learned about race, class, and normativity when it comes to gay marriage or gay parents or gays in the military or whatever.
heads up, straight/ally people of color (i guess white allies too…………..lol):
you don’t have to suddenly forget that arguments that only aim to prove how white and middle-class a marginalized community can be is oppressive, racist, and classist. queer and trans people of color who will never be normal enough to be in commercials or viral youtube videos advertising the normativity of the gay community still exist and matter. completely abandoning your critical lens in order to “be an ally” is not actually being an ally. it’s being too scared to think for yourself because you don’t want to mess up which isn’t always helpful. this isn’t to say that straight/cis people shouldn’t check themselves, because they should. always.
but wholesale supporting everything the white gay mainstream throws at you doesn’t make me respect your ~*ally skillz*~. it just makes me feel less confident in your ability to comprehend or truly support a queer/trans person of color who may not be middle-class.
if you want to repost nice feelgood white liberal gay videos on your fb/tumblr/twitter and say you support that, then that’s cool. but instead of just adding commentary that says, “see? queer people can be great parents (just like us)!,” maybe say a thing or two about how even those families who aren’t properly middle-class or “stable” or “just like yours” still deserve dignity, respect, and protection.
Rookie magazine writer, Jenny Zhang, quotes activist Dorothy Height in her latest piece on the political and historical significance of fashion. Zhang cites OF ANOTHER FASHION as her inspiration! (via ofanotherfashion)
This paragraph hits home with me:
Here’s what I wish I knew back when I was in high school and so proud of myself for being the exceptionally compassionate, caring person I believed myself to be: focusing only on the pain and degradation of any oppressed group of people does another kind of damage to those individuals. It turns them into stereotypes of pain and damage and ignores everything else about them, including whether they’re funny, or stupid, or weird, or brilliant, or irreverent, or stylish, or creative, or boring, or selfish, or anything else that people are capable of being. It takes away their complexity and vastness and reduces people to one-dimensional figures. So yes, this is a post about style, but more than that, it’s a post about not denying these girls the dignity of their multitudes.
When the call comes, be calm.
Say to your wife, “My brother is dying. I have to fly
try not to be shocked that he already looks like
Say to the young man sitting by your brother’s side,
“I’m his brother.”
Try not to be shocked when the young man says,
“I’m his lover. Thanks for coming.”
Listen to the doctor with a steel face on.
Sign the necessary forms.
Tell the doctor you will take care of everything.
Wonder why doctors are so remote.
Watch the lover’s eyes as they stare into
your brother’s eyes as they stare into
Wonder what they see there.
Remember the time he was jealous and
opened your eyebrow with a sharp stick.
Forgive him out loud
even if he can’t
Realize the scar will be
all that’s left of him.
Over coffee in the hospital cafeteria
say to the lover, “You’re an extremely good-looking
Hear him say,
“I never thought I was good enough looking to
deserve your brother.”
Watch the tears well up in his eyes. Say,
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what it means to be
the lover of another man.”
Hear him say,
“Its just like a wife, only the commitment is
deeper because the odds against you are so much
Say nothing, but
take his hand like a brother’s.
Drive to Mexico for unproven drugs that might
help him live longer.
Explain what they are to the border guard.
Fill with rage when he informs you,
“You can’t bring those across.”
Begin to grow loud.
Feel the lover’s hand on your arm
restraining you. See in the guard’s eye
how much a man can hate another man.
Say to the lover, “How can you stand it?”
Hear him say, “You get used to it.”
Think of one of your children getting used to
another man’s hatred.
Call your wife on the telephone. Tell her,
“He hasn’t much time.
I’ll be home soon.” Before you hang up say,
“How could anyone’s commitment be deeper than
a husband and a wife?” Hear her say,
“Please. I don’t want to know all the details.”
When he slips into an irrevocable coma,
hold his lover in your arms while he sobs,
no longer strong. Wonder how much longer
you will be able to be strong.
Feel how it feels to hold a man in your arms
whose arms are used to holding men.
Offer God anything to bring your brother back.
Know you have nothing God could possibly want.
Curse God, but do not
Stare at the face of the funeral director
when he tells you he will not
embalm the body for fear of
contamination. Let him see in your eyes
how much a man can hate another man.
Stand beside a casket covered in flowers,
white flowers. Say,
“thank you for coming,” to each of seven hundred men
who file past in tears, some of them
holding hands. Know that your brother’s life
was not what you imagined. Overhear two
mourners say, “I wonder who’ll be next?” and
“I don’t care anymore,
as long as it isn’t you.”
Arrange to take an early flight home.
His lover will drive you to the airport.
When your flight is announced say,
awkwardly, “If I can do anything, please
let me know.” Do not flinch when he says,
“Forgive yourself for not wanting to know him
after he told you. He did.”
Stop and let it soak in. Say,
“He forgave me, or he knew himself?”
“Both,” the lover will say, not knowing what else
to do. Hold him like a brother while he
kisses you on the cheek. Think that
you haven’t been kissed by a man since
your father died. Think,
“This is no moment to be strong.”
Fly first class and drink Scotch. Stroke
your split eyebrow with a finger and
think of your brother alive. Smile
at the memory and think
how your children will feel in your arms
warm and friendly and without challenge.
- Michael Lassell
Contamination, I’ll give you contamination you light-shunned little…
Let me tell you some things.
I used to investigate child abuse and neglect. I can tell you how to stop the vast majority of abortion in the world.
First, make knowledge and access to contraception widely available. Start teaching kids before they hit puberty. Teach them about domestic violence and coercion, and teach them not to coerce and rape. Create a strong, loving community where women and girls feel safe and supported in times of need. Because guess what? They aren’t. You know what happens to babies born under such circumstances? They get hurt, unnecessarily. They get sick, unnecessarily. They get removed from parents who love them but who are unprepared for the burden of a child. Resources? Honey, we try. There aren’t enough resources anywhere. There are waiting lists, and promises, and maybes. If the government itself can’t hook people up, what makes you think an impoverished single mom can handle it?
Abolish poverty. Do you have any idea how much childcare costs? Daycare can cost as much or more than monthly rent. They may be inadequately staffed. Getting a private nanny is a nice idea, but they don’t come cheap either. Relatives? Do they own a car? Does the bus run at the right times? Do they have jobs of their own they need to work just to keep the lights on? Are they going to stick around until you get off you convenience store shift at 4 AM? Do they have criminal histories that will make them unsuitable as caregivers when CPS pokes around? You gonna pay for that? Who’s going to pay for that?
End rape. I know your type errs on the side of blaming the woman, but I’ve seen little girls who’ve barely gotten their periods pregnant because somebody thought raping preteens was an awesome idea. You want to put a child through that? Or someone with a mental or physical inability for whom pregnancy would be frightening, painful or even life-threatening? I’ve seen nonverbal kids who had their feet sliced up by caregivers for no fucking reason at all, you think sexual abuse doesn’t happen either?
You say there’s lots of couples who want to adopt. Kiddo, what they want to adopt are healthy white babies, preferably untainted by the wombs and genetics of women with alcohol or drug dependencies. I’ve seen the kids they don’t want, who almost no one wants. You people focus only on the happy pink babies, the gigglers, the ones who grow and grow with no trouble. Those are not the kids who linger in foster care. Those are certainly not the older kids and teenagers who age out of foster care and then are thrown out in the streets, usually with an array of medical and mental health issues. Are they too old to count?
And yeah, I’ve seen the babies, little hand-sized things barely clinging to life. There’s no glory, no wonder there. There is no wonder in a pregnant woman with five dollars to her name, so deep in depression you wonder if she’ll be alive in a week. Therapy costs money. Medicine costs money. Food, clothes, electricity cost money. Government assistance is a pittance; poverty drives women and girls into situations where they are forced to rely on people who abuse them to survive. (I’ve been up in more hospitals than I can count.)
>In each and every dark pit of desperation, I have never seen a pro-lifer. I ain’t never seen them babysitting, scrubbing floors, bringing over goods, handing mom $50 bucks a month or driving her to the pediatrician. I ain’t never seen them sitting up for hours with an autistic child who screams and rages so his mother can get some sleep while she rests up from working 14-hour days. I don’t see them fixing leaks in rundown houses or playing with a kid while the police prepare to interview her about her sexual abuse. They’re not paying for the funerals of babies and children who died after birth, when they truly do become independent organisms. And the crazy thing is they think they’ve already done their job, because the child was born!
Aphids give birth, girl. It’s no miracle. You want to speak for the weak? Get off your high horse and get your hands dirty helping the poor, the isolated, the ill and mentally ill women and mothers and their children who already breathe the dirty air. You are doing nothing, absolutely nothing, for children. You don’t have a flea’s comprehension of injustice. You are not doing shit for life until you get in there and fight that darkness. Until you understand that abortion is salvation in a world like ours. Does that sound too hard? Do you really think suffering post-birth is more permissible, less worthy of outrage?
“Pro-life” is simply a philosophy in which the only life worth saving is the one that can be saved by punishing a woman.” —
wow. amen to this.
I can not even stress enough the ways that comprehensive, factually accurate, age appropriate, non-judgmental sexual education beginning with young children can help accomplish things that seem to drive people onto either side of a chasm of divide.
Should a book about a white main character encountering diversity be part of a list of “diverse” titles? What if the encounter is life-changing for the white main character? And even more questions arise for me: Is this kind of book meant for white readers or for minority readers?
I’m sure that some (many?) minority readers are sick and tired of reading about white people learning about them. But what if this kind of book opens the eyes of a white reader and changes their perceptions about the world and people who are different from them?
—Malindo Lo, on Diversity in YA for the December new releases.
::facepalming:: how is this is even a question. No, it should not count. POC are not learning moments for white people ‘encountering diversity’ (what does that even mean).
If you have to count books with white protags to make a list, then maybe the issue is that not enough books by/about/for POC (and/or queer people? I think is part of their diversity statement) are being published/read, not that the definition of ‘diversity’ needs to include stories centered around people privileged in those aspects.
Oh, Malinda. There are so many books out there about life-changing experiences of white (and other kinds of privileged) people through their interaction with the marginalized. White people got so many opportunities to learn from them. But all they seem to learn is that they can become experts on POC lives without actually living them. That’s just called the fucking status quo.
I would imagine that true diversity would actually fuck with the status quo. And you know what fucks with the status quo? Many more books which tell white people they ain’t the hot shit they think they are.
Unknown (via rosenplantzandguildenfern)
This is so savage.
OH SNAP. This is great.
BAM said the lady.
And DFCS came back in November 2008 for her fifth child, Debbi, just 14 days old.
“I begged them not to take my baby,” said Domitina Mendez, 24, “but the interpreter told me to calm down or it was going to be worse.”
Since then, the five children have been cared for by a foster family who wants to adopt them, even as the Mendezes try to regain custody.
A hearing to have their case reopened is set for Thursday in Whitfield County Juvenile Court after a June 2011 ruling that terminated their parental rights.
In her ruling, Judge Connie Blaylock said she didn’t believe the parents could care adequately for the five children with their complicated medical needs and the dozens of medical appointments they require every month.
But advocates working with the family believe their inability to speak English and their illegal status were the main factors that led to the rights termination.” —
yeah, you know what? I think this has less to do with them speaking spanish, and more to do with that big bolded part up there— US citizens want some children. And what better way to get some cheap home made kids without having to worry about birth family contact attempts or wait for years and years?
fuck this shit. fuck it all.
This is so fucked. They target women like this. Why are they taking her 14 day old child anyways, how you neglect your child in 14 days? Oh, they already deemed her unfit to reproduce on her own terms. And yea, I’m sure wanting to adopt families needs trump the mothers, all because of U.S. citizen status, language, and race if the adopting family is white. Whoever said those weren’t factors in the article are lying and enough evidence supports this all plays a huge effect in the judgement of these cases.
*lights torch* Fuck this shit…
Bullshit this is the CASE STUDY in bullshit
do you see the irony here???
birth parents have to work. they don’t make good money, they can’t afford a car…so TAKE THEIR CHILDREN AWAY.
*foster parents* (who want to adopt)—make $90,000 a YEAR *JUST TO TAKE CARE OF THOSE SAME KIDS*.
do you see that??? do you see what classism looks like as it plays out against immigrant communities? do you see how nativism and white supremacy plays out there? we won’t give “illegalz” that same $90,000 dollars to take care of their own kids. becuz they’re illegalz. they don’t get benefits for being here in the US.
but US citizens can take those children and raise them—and get $90,000 dollars a year.